this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize