If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm just crazy horny about you
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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