I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Two words: blizzard sex
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
