uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
