you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
