So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
