Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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