Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Sext me about skeletons
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize