Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
