ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just sucked dick on a ferry
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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