I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
