My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I am mentally ready for anal.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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