Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
