I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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