I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
