I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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