i would punch a child for taco bell
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
