You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
where are you?
Hypothermia
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
