Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
