its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I bet he comes in French.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
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