I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
