some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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