i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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