I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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