I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
