Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
you had me at cake vodka
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize