Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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