Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
the day after is always just damage control
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
