i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
