So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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