Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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