never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize