i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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