Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
