i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
