Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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