"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
