whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Randomize
