you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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