I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
