Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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