Screwed.edu
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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