speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Randomize
