I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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