the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
