So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize