forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
