well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
