According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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