I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
