is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
