He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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