We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
