I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
My cat gives me a boner
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
