the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
