Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
