Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
