I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
she told me i tasted like america
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Randomize