piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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