you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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