I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Your dad touched me again.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
