I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
